Something New, #123

Barack and Roll

I watched a Democratic presidential acceptance speech last night for the first time. I honestly don't think I've ever watched anything political from start to finish, but as everyone keeps saying, we're watching history being made, and I wanted to be able to tell my future grandchildren how their mamma and I watched it together.

I cried almost the whole time.

I totally heart Barack.

Something New, #122

I am not a fan of No Child Left Behind.

I have several friends who are teachers, and even the cradle Republicans did not vote for Dubya in the last election because of it.

It has seemed that for the last 4 years, my oldest is getting tested about every three weeks. At first, she didn't mind, but now it's old.

I got a letter from the "Gifted" teacher at her new middle school. The Big One is not in the "gifted" program in our public schools, because she missed the entrance requirements by one point, but she scores in the highest percentile on all her standardized tests. And have I mentioned that she and her friend Amber were the only two in her sixth grade class that made straight A's since kindergarten?

Yeah, I figured I had.

Now I'm not saying my girl isn't smart, but I really don't believe that standardized tests measure intelligence, creative thinking or even common sense. When I get frustrated at my kids because they ask me obvious things like "Mom, where do we keep the silverware?" (duh, in the silverware drawer) I think to myself, "These are the dumbest smart people in the world."

Anyway, she came home with this letter, saying she was qualified to take the ACT or SAT through Duke University's Talent Identification Program.

The ACT or SAT.

In the seventh grade.

What on earth for?

I checked out the website and it pretty much seemed to me that if your kid takes this test it will qualify for many exciting summer programs and camps sponsored by Duke University.

Starting at $1,800.00.

No mention of any scholarships.

So I talked to the "gifted" teacher and she highly recommended it, it's a wonderful opportunity, etc. The Big One wants to do it, so I gave her the OK.

I'm going to make The Ex pay the test fee.

Something New, #121

I finally used my new status as a notary to actually notarize something.

I stamped and signed myself silly.

Something New, #120

When I walked into the house after work, I could hear coming from outside, what I thought was a really loud lawnmower. Turns out, it was a tree service company taking out my back neighbor's tree.

They had already taken off all the branches, and were down to the trunk, which was probably about 12 feet. Four men had hold of a guy line and one had the chainsaw and had cut through the trunk, which was about 3 feet across. I got to the backyard just as they pulled and the whole tree came down. TIMBER!

I cussed at myself, for not having the foresight to grab the camera and film it.

Too bad the tree was taken out, though. A former co-worker said she had to take out the cottonwood tree in her yard because of her son's allergies. Slacker mom that I am, I think I would have kept my kid hopped up on antihistamines 3 weeks of the year, rather than cut down a full-grown healthy tree.

Something New, #119

I found a blue caterpillar in the flowerbed, so I thought it would be a nice nature lesson to put it in a jar, and watch is turn into a butterfly.

We brought it in, filled a jar with leaves, twigs and a few drops of water, and punched air holes in the jar lid. The Little One named it Bob.

We checked on Bob to see how he was doing and to take a photo.

Bob was drowned in the few drops of water that were in there.

The Little One insisted he was sleeping and that I should stop poking him with the twig to prove otherwise.

It's probably a good thing. Turns out, after I looked it up online, it was probably a sawfly larvae.

Pretty much a metaphor of my life: I think I'm getting a butterfly, and end up with a grub.

Something New, #118

Bad Hair Day

I've always hated my hair.

It's curly, but not cute-curly, just curly enough that I can't make it do what I want. Plus it grows really slowly, so it's never been my longer than my ears. This was a major contention with me growing up, as I grew up in the era of Farrah Fawcett feathered hair. Plus there was no hair product during my formative years, with the exceptions of Aqua-Net and Dippity-Doo.

When L'oreal came out with styling mousse my sophomore year in college, I swear I could hear the angels sing the first time I used it.

I pretty much took care of my hair problem, by keeping it short. Whenever I'd go to a new hairdresser and he'd ask how I'd like it, I'd just say "Give me a lesbian haircut" and he'd know what I meant.

(I probably offended someone with that, so I apologize, but everyone knows what I mean when I use that description.)

I've colored my hair since I was sixteen, so I honestly don't know the natural color. Since I am battling grays like crazy, it's probably mostly gray.

So about a year and a half ago, I decided that I would just give into it and see what happened. I've only had the ends trimmed and have colored it. It's about down to the tops of my shoulders if I let it air-dry.

That is, until yesterday.

I went to my cute hairdresser Joe, and after he cut it, asked if I'd like a blow out. Usually he just uses the diffuser, but I thought, why not.

And the angels sang again.

Turns out, my hair is almost long, another first for me. I had STRAIGHT, swingy hair for about two hours, until the humidity got to it. I flipped my head of STRAIGHT hair around so much, I'm surprised I didn't give myself whiplash.

I'm going to try it myself, but not until the humidity subsides.

Truly, a life-changing event.

Something New, #117

Another digital first for me. I figured out how to get photos out of my camera that are on the internal memory.

I know it doesn't sound like much, but considering I didn't even know the camera had internal memory, I think that counts.

All I had to do was rifle through the dozen or so USB cords in the computer cabinet, plug it in, and transfer.

Here's a lovely photo of The Big One and I at Race for the Cure.

And I did cave in and made a trip to the grocery store between dropping off The Little One and dropping off The Big One at school. I checked with a friend who just finished at that middle school, and apparently, the lunch line stay like that all year.

She's going to have to learn to make her own lunches.

At 8:32 PM, The Big One announced she wanted to take her lunch the next day, because "the line in the cafeteria is too long, and I only had 3 minutes to eat." This was after I had already made a trip to the grocery store an hour earlier and asked if there was anything she wanted.

Of course we have nothing in the house that she can take for lunch.

I feel bad for her, but seriously, isn't 8:32 PM a little late to be thinking about these things, especially since I've already made one trip to the store?

Maybe I'll cave and stop and get a Lunchable on the way to school.

Something New, #116

The Little One and I were walking TNG and we found a fallen bird's nest and brought it home.

My mom was one of those mothers who would never let us touch found bird feather, for fear of lice. I'm better about it, but I always insist on rinsing any bird feathers brought into the house in alcohol.

The bird's nest did not come into the house, but stayed on the front porch until The Little One could take it to school.

I'm kind of fascinated that the birds used one of those plastic fasteners in their construction.

Something New, #115

Take This Job and Shove It

This isn't something I did or learned, but it's never happened to me, so I think it counts as Something New.

I work 4 jobs that bring income into the house. (I work 4 jobs because The Ex WON'T, but again, another blog.) I have my full-time paralegal job, I work a several times a month as a cater-waiter, have a home business, and still work a couple of Saturday mornings a month at the pediatric office where I used to work full-time.

That is, I worked there until today.

I received a letter in the mail today stating that "due to scheduling and availability reasons, we have decided that you last day at of employment at _______ will be August 31, 2008."

Man, that was cold.

It wasn't even written on the office letterhead, just on a plain piece of printer paper.

Tacky.

And did I mention that I worked there for four years, and the only negatives I've had on reviews were that I didn't "use my inside voice" and "make too many trips to the restroom."

Hey, I drink my required 8 glasses of water a day. When you gotta go...

They then added to please drop off my key "at my earliest convenience." I think the earliest convenience I'm going to have will be after they pay me for my accrued vacation.

The irony is, there are only 3 people who work on Saturday's and now there are two. The office runs with only 2 on Saturdays, except during "sick season" when they use three.

My math sucks, but I do know that 2 is less than 3.

I'm not that heart-broken, but the main reason I stayed on part-time was I only have catastrophic insurance for my kids, and I could take them there for free. They absolutely cannot get sick now until April, when The Ex can put him on his insurance.

Pretty much sucks to be one of America's working poor.

Something New, #114

One of my officemates went to Andre's for lunch today, and brought back treats for us.

One was a rum ball, in which, apparently, Andre's uses real rum.

Lots and lots of it.

I'd never had a rum ball, much less a chocolate covered one, so I took a bite.

I was dizzy the rest of the afternoon.

Andre's recipe for rum balls is to take all the crumbs and bits of cake that stick to the cake pans and put it in a bowl somewhere and pour as much rum as it will absorb. Then they roll the whole thing in dark chocolate.

No cake flavor whatsoever.

I took it home and gave The Ex a bite, and he spit it out, because he had to drive home and knew he wouldn't have passed a breathalizer test.

I'm surprised I didn't pass out on my keyboard.

Something New, #113

After I built my new headboard and moved the furniture around, I had to run the cord for the cable under a rug, since I moved the TV to the other side of the room. Right after I did that, I tripped on it with my size nine gunboat feet.

But I knew I would.

I thought moving the outlet for the cable would involve calling the company, taking a half day off work and paying at least a $75 installation fee. But after I looked at the hook-up, I figured out how to do it on my own.

All I had to do was drill a hole in the floor where I wanted the cable to go, disconnect the old cable, move the line from the ceiling in the garage, which is right under my room, thread it through the new hole in the floor, and reconnect it.

I got the hole drilled right the first time (another first, since I always have to redrill) and used a knitting needle and duct tape to pull the cable up from the garage.

After about a half dozen trips up and down the stairs, I had it up and running.

I always feel very empowered when I do projects like this. I've accomplished tasks like de-icing the icemaker water line with a hair dryer, installing light fixtures, replacing the spigot on a water hose, and the one I'm most proud of: replacing the flushie thing in BOTH toilets.

Those are the sort of things that should be taught in the public schools.

BTW, TNG nearly worried herself to death with the new arrangement of the bedroom furniture. She paced and panted half the night, and would NOT get on the bed until I practically picked her up and plopped her on it, so she knew it was the same bed.

Crazy catahoula.

Something New, #112

Since 1991 I have not had a real bed.

I've pretty much slept with my mattress and box springs on the plain metal bed frame that came with the king set I bought with The Ex. I rigged several "headboards" out of art or fabric, but never a real headboard.

When I went to a feng shui seminar a few months ago, I asked one of the speakers about what I could do about not being able to sleep. My bedroom is at the front of the house, which apparently, is the worst place for a bedroom. Since I couldn't move house, she suggested either moving my bed to a different space or closing the bathroom door.

I did start keeping the bathroom door closed, and it does seem to help, but she put the seed of the idea of moving my bedroom furniture around into my head, and I've been wanting to do it ever since.

Problem was, as I had no headboard, if I moved it to the place I wanted, I'd have the bed angled in the corner, and nothing to lean against. I had several idea of how to make a headboard, a la Christopher Lowell, with a hollow-core door, but not the time or energy to carry it out.

Today, The Big One and I went to Nebraska Furniture Mart, and just for fun, I checked out their clearance room. I found a queen footboard, the right size and color for $10.00. I figured for ten bucks, I could make it work.

After several attempts with my crappy power drill, I managed to add extensions on it and get it moved into the corner. It was actually harder to move the furniture around and rip out the remaining carpet under the bed than actually converting the footboard into the headboard.

And did I mention I did this while wearing a sundress and flip-flops? Eat your heart out Hildi.

Something New, #111

If I Were a Rich Man

I love musical theater. I've always wanted to be one of the theater people, but seeing how I can't sing, dance or act, I'm happy to be a spectator.

I'm trying to pass that on to my girls, and for the past two seasons, have got season tickets for The Big One and I for Starlight Theater's summer musicals. Actually, I wanted to take her to Wicked this spring, but two tickets to that cost more than five shows at Starlight.

I think I got a pretty good deal.

This season is The Drowsy Chaperon, High School Musical, (I took The Little One to that; not cool enough for The Big One) The Music Man (my FAVORITE musical), Fiddler on the Roof, and Les Miserables.

I absolutely LOVED The Drowsy Chaperon. I'd put it right under The Lion King as far as musical theater experiences go. High School Musical was for the benefit of the seven year old, and The Music Man did not disappoint.

This week's production was Fiddler on the Roof. I have never seen it live, only the movie with Zero Mostel. It really is not one of my favorite musicals, based on only seeing the movie. It's hard to make cossacks musical, I guess.

We got to the theater late, thanks to BOTH on-ramps to I-435 being closed. (thanks a LOT KDOT!!!) I was trying to explain in a stage whisper what was going on to The Big One, but she figured it out on her own.

I have to say, I liked it much better than I thought. The stage version is much funnier than the film version, and the dancing was awesome. It still had a sad ending, but again, hard to make ethnic cleansing light.

Les Miserables is next. I know it's cliche, but I've seen it three times and can't wait for The Big One to see it.

Something New, #110

Despite my attempts at petty thievery, I am now a notary public.

It took three applications with the incorrect forms to the Secretary of State, but the firm finally got the bond correct, and now I'm official.

I'd better clean up my act.

Something New, #109

So many Something News!

First day of second grade, and first day of middle school.

Dropping off The Little One at second grade was pretty much the same as it has been for both. She was excited because she got the teacher who has a bunny, Radish in her classroom.

The significant Something New was the first day of middle school. For the past several weeks, every now and then, I'd ask The Big One if she wanted me to walk her into school the first day. This was usually answered with an eye roll and a "No Mom." We were at the stoplight before the school yesterday and I asked her again.

"No Mom."

As we were pulling in the driveway of the school: "I think I'd like you to walk me in."

My baby still needs me.

But as we got to the door, she ran into her BFF, so they decided to go in together.

They wouldn't let me take their photos, so these are the best I got. The Big One is the tall one.
Another Something New, is the TNG woke me at 4:00 AM by barking and when I went downstairs, found she had diarrhea all over the carpet. I pretty much spent the next 2 1/2 hours cleaning up and letting her out. I hated to leave her crated, but she wouldn't go in the basement. I figured if she had more, at least in the basement I could hose it off. When The Ex brought The Little One home at noon, she had left him a big present.

Although, I feel some justice in letting him clean up someone else's sh*t for once.

We did manage to get some Pepto in her, and no more blowouts. I cleaned the carpet with bleach solution when I got home, and now my house smells like a swimming pool. On the upside, my carpets have never been cleaner.

Something New, #108

That's it, I'm officially going to hell in a handbasket.

I noticed several months ago that one of the houses up my hill was empty. I knew it was a rental, and figured the tenants had moved out, and someone else would be moving in. It sat empty for a couple more months, and the grass started getting really high. Once when I was walking TND, I saw something taped to the front door. It was a notice from the city about how the grass was too high and the owners were subject to a fine. A few days later, I saw one of the neighbors mowing the lawn, then figured maybe he had bought the property.

A couple of weeks ago, I saw another notice taped to the door. This one stated that as of a certain date, all unclaimed contents of the house would be seized. Dave-man, another neighbor, was out in his yard, so I asked if he knew anything about it. Turns out, the owner is in foreclosure, and apparently, the renters had to get out quick. He said they left several Little Tyke toys in the backyard, and when the city first came, they put everything on the curb, and another neighbor took it for his little kids.

So there were still some belongings left in the yard, namely a large planter and some of those stake-lights that come on at dusk.

I figured since the city would put them on the curb anyway, they would look much better in my yard.

I snuck out after dark, and grabbed them. I feel like I'm keeping them out of a landfill.

My geraniums will look lovely in the planter when I bring them in this winter.

Something New, #107

Now that The Big One is practically in middle school, I've been letting her take a few more liberties. Since we're down to the last few days before school starts, I've been letting her "babysit" her sister during the day. They seem to be doing well, but I think they're getting on each other's nerves.

Today she wanted to go swimming with a friend and be dropped off at the pool with no parents. I've always liked going to the pool with them, but because of my work schedule, the sitter usually takes them during the week. The plan was that this friend's dad would drop them off, and The Ex would pick them up and bring everyone home.

She's a good kid and follows directions well, so I let her. Pretty big jump for me. The funny thing is, when I was her age, I was babysitting for the family up the street all summer. Their oldest would ride her bike to the pool by herself, and spend most of the day, and I'd be home with the little sister. My brothers and I would do the same; ride our bikes to the pool and stay most of the day. I don't recall my mother ever going to the pool.

Never in a million years would I let my kids do that at this age. Pretty sad.

Something New, #106

Today I took The Big One shopping for bras.

I think I handled it pretty well. I managed to get the right size without embarrassing her to death. Pretty good, considering we were in the middle of Target. I did check to make sure there were no boys around and just held it up to her back, because, truthfully, there's not much difference between that and the front. It's just that she starts middle school, and will be changing clothes for gym, and I didn't want her to feel awkward.

Middle school starts in three days. I hope I survive.

Something New, #105

In my new effort to whip the yard into shape, I was putting some new perennials into the ground and saw a baby praying mantis.

I think this was only time I've ever seen one in the wild, having only seen them in artificial surroundings. I picked it up, and let it walk on my hands. It was about an inch long and a very bright green, and almost translucent.

I have to say, those artists at Pixar were pretty spot on in A Bugs Life.

Something New, #104

I pride myself on being a slacker parent.

That is to say, I don't spend a lot of time doing every little thing for my kids. From the time they were both old enough to understand, and when they wanted me to do something for them, I'd say "Try it yourself first."

Another one of my parenting philosophies comes from one of Carrie Fisher's novels, I'm not sure which, probably "Illusions of Grandma," where on of the character's parenting advice is "You mostly point things out to them."

I've always pointed out things like, "Look at those geese," "See that car painted to look like a dog," "There's a person dressed in a banana costume."

Today I learned that my kids have actually been listening when I do that.

Both the girls and I were in the car and The Big One announced, "Cow." I thought she meant she'd seen a cow being pulled in trailer, but she said she'd seen a giant cow, like for a display, on the back of a truck.

I was so very pleased she'd noticed, and I wished I'd seen it.

Something New, #103

It looks like this blog is leaning in the direction of how to score free plants and how to deal with the aftermath of my noontime walks, but that's what I've got, so I gotta work with it.

After my walk today (3.4 miles in 45 minutes, thank you very much)I was especially, uh, ripe. I noticed the hand sanitizer in the bathroom and figured since it's mostly alcohol it might alleviate my problem.

I slathered it on like body lotion. Note to self: DO NOT put hand sanitizer on chigger bites.

I felt a little sticky, but I figured it would at least aid in the evaporation process.

I know, my life is so lame...

I work a wedding this weekend, so I'm really going to be on the lookout for a fabulous Something New.

Something New, #102

Even though I bring a change of clothes and take a spit bath after my noon walks, I still get pretty sweaty. Especially right at the bra-line.

Even when I was pregnant with my second, I still failed the pencil test. Even so, I am getting pretty damp there after my walks, so it occurred to me this morning to put some anti-persperant on the offending area.

After my walk, the sports bra didn't seem as damp, but I'm not sure if it's due to the use of the Soft 'n Dri, or that it was about 10 degrees cooler today.

Anyway,it doesn't hurt to try in the name of freshness.

Something New, #101

I'm probably reaching again, but I'm going to count this as Something New.

I took both girls to the mall, and no one had a melt down.

Usually, I'm the one that has the melt down, because I'm usually focused on getting one certain item at the mall, and am stressed enough about being there in the first place.

Today, we got in, made our purchases, got out and without whining!

Talk about shopping victoriously.

Something New, #100

The Big One and I are walking in the Susan Komen Race for the Cure on Sunday, and I started a website for donations.

Our goal is only $50, since I put it up just a few days for the event, but we're halfway there, thanks to my old friend, Chipmunk Cheeks.

We did it together last year, and despite the 90 degree heat at 8:00 AM, she did great and did not whine once.

My mother had breast cancer in 1983 when she was only 45. A friend of mine is on her 5 year recovery, and she's 5 years younger than me. I'm not being morbid, but I've always had the view it was not if I get breast cancer, it's when. I've already got my treatment planned.

So if you read this, slip us a fiver or two. I know the pink ribbons are annoying, but it is something that touches all of us.

Something New, #99

Super Bad

I was rude to a stranger in public.

Actually, I don't know if that's what really happened.

A couple of months ago, I was walking TND, The Big One, The Little One, and their best friends, The Big One II and The Little One II. We were in front of TCGIBS42Y's house and this male beagle came running down the street, off the leash, teeth bared, and lit into The Little One II. I yelled at all the girls to run across the street, to get away, then the beagle lit into TND. I had to pull him off her with both hands and he took off at an amazing run up the hill. The Little One II was crying at this point, and I had to get her and the rest of the girls and TND all calmed down before we could go home. I got everyone moving again, but was shaking.

When we got to the top of the hill, a woman in a car pulled up and asked if we had seen a beagle. We all shouted "YES!" and pointed in the direction the dog had gone.

So last night, both girls and I were walking up to McDonald's to get ice cream, and the woman was walking the beagle. Obviously, she found her dog.

The beagle started after TND and she took off after him. Unfortunately, I was still holding the leash and went with her. The woman then began screaming at me to get my dog back, and to KICK her. I yelled, "This dog attacked her, and she's not going to forget that!"

I did get TND away, but the beagle was still yapping and pulling his owner as we went down the hill.

Stupid beagle.

I still feel that my dog was not in the wrong, since the beagle was the instigator. After all, all TND was doing was protecting her babies.

Good Girl.

Something New, #98

Hosta la Vista, Baby
In my unending quest to landscape my yard with free plants, I posted a WANTED message on Freecycle for the first time. I asked if anyone had any perennials they'd like to give away. A woman who lived near my office responded almost immediately, that she had hostas, purple coneflowers, and something else I can't remember, but looks like day lilies.

So the girls and I headed over and she let us dig ourselves silly. I had enough hostas to fill the wayback of the Mom Mobile and enough of the other two to fill my empty passenger seat.

It was about ninety in the shade, but I managed to get everything in the ground. It's my ultimate goal to have the entire front yard rid of grass, since I've aerated and reseeded every fall for the last five years, and still have mostly bald patches. I'm going for the Rainforest Floor look at this point.

BTW, the honeysuckle I nicked from the park didn't die. It started some new growth. Who knows, maybe next year I'll have some blooms.

Also, the Queen Anne's Lace I took from the vacant lot seemed to take, but my CFL told me the thistle was illegal. "ILLEGAL?! I'm not going to smoke it or anything!" Apparently, it's an invasive weed.

I really am a rebel.

Something New, #97

My BFF since 1975 was in town, so I had to do the host thing and show her the sights of KC. Since it was wicked hot, I figured we'd do something indoors, so I took her and the girls to the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art.

This technically wasn't Something New, but I have to provide a backstory.

When The Little One was about 16 months and The Big One was about six, I took them both to the museum. The Little One was barely walking, and was confined to the stroller, and The Big One is so complacent, she would walk, holding onto the stroller.

Things started to go wrong for us from the beginning.

When we got there, I discovered the museum was under major renovations, and I had to maneuver the stroller and the girls through a maze of corridors, just to get to the elevator. After we finally found the elevator and made our way to the check in desk, the attendant made me put the Cowboy Woody doll The Little One was clutching in her paw, in the basket in the stroller. To this day, I have no idea why. Not a fan of Cowboy Woody, I suppose.

We had to go back through the maze of hallways to get to the elevator that took us to the galleries.

I majored in art, and took enough art history to probably have earned a minor in that, so I'm no hayseed when it comes to museums. I was pushing The Little One through the galleries and explaining the pieces to The Big One.

After visiting a couple of galleries, I noticed that the museum attendants were particularly attentive. In fact, they were so attentive, they were in my personal space. It was extremely annoying and insulting.

I understand that the museum has irreplaceable objects in it, but seriously, had the attendants watched my kids and I interact before they got in my face, they would have seen we were respectful.

I got so frustrated and annoyed and angry, that by the time we got to the last galleries, I would stand in the doorway, and just point to the exhibits, and ask my daughter questions.

I was so steamed when I left, I swore I'd never go back, and I even wrote the museum a letter telling them so and why.

I'm still waiting for a response.

But last year, the museum opened a new wing, and it was really hot(the outside temperature, not the new wing), so I gave it another shot.

Plus, because we parked in the street, it was free.

We all enjoyed the museum, but I did notice the attendants were still hovering. Old habits die hard.

So I guess this Something New is that I saw the new wing, and ate my words.

Something New, #96

Book 'Em Danno, Part Deux

In my lame effort to live on the edge, I trespassed. I'm sure I've trespassed unintentionally before, but this time, I did it on PURPOSE.

I have kept up with walking at my lunch hour (I can do 2 1/2 miles in a half hour now, thank you very much) and decided to change my regular route. There is a "gated community" built around a golf course about a half mile from where I work, and the gate was open, so I went in. There was a "Private Property - No Trespassing" sign at the entrance, but being such a rebel, I ignored it.

I even took it a step farther, and dared to walk on the cart paths.

I figured, "I'm a taxpayer in this county, I helped pay for these streets and fancy streetlights, I have every right to walk here."

I'm so bad.