Sunday, August 16, 2009

Breakin' Up is Hard to Do

Maybe it's because I'm a Taurus, but I'm extremely stubborn when it comes to holding on to things. Old clothes, knick-knacks, magazines and especially relationships that don't work.

I really just want to "give it one more chance," because I hate admitting I wasted time on something I was wrong about all along. My divorce opened up a big can of worms in that area.

It showed me that not only can I break up with people I'm not even romantically involved with like my self-righteous former roommate, who has nothing to offer me but criticism, a counselor whose best advice was "get more girlfriends," or concepts like religion, but I can also break up with inanimate objects.

A few weeks ago, Good Neighbor Laura had a showing of her artwork. I MapQuested directions, printed them out and set out with the girls to her opening. I followed the map, and after about 10 minutes of driving around a residential neighborhood, looked at the address I'd put in, and compared it to the one on the invitation. MapQuest had led me to the 9600 block when I should have been on the 4300 block. I set off north, hoping I could get there on time and realized I had no idea where I was going so I gave up, and turned around because I knew I'd just get more frustrated and angry the more lost I knew I'd become.

So I officially broke up with MapQuest.

Keep in mind that almost EVERY time I use MapQuest, something similar happens, but I kept right on using it.

Yesterday, at the Wal-Mart, The Big One, The Boyfriend and I were checking out and the lines on the manned check outs were pretty long, so we used the self-check. I have the same history with self-check outs as I do with MapQuest. Every time I've used one, the red light goes on, and I have to wait for the checking supervisor to clear the machine. Plus, there's never enough room on the bagging table, and the computer always yells at me to check the bagging area.

But we were in a hurry and so we used it.

The red light must have gone off a half-dozen times, and the checking supervisor had to come over twice to key into the register so we could continue.

So I broke up with self-checkouts.

Today while at the Home Depot, there were lines at the manned registers, but all the self-checkouts were free. The supervisor motioned me to the self-checks, but I proudly proclaimed, "No thanks, I broke up with those."

So what if she thought I was nuts.

I think I'll break up with worrying about what other people think of me, too.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

True Story

I went into JoAnn's, picked out my fabric and headed to the cutting table. The sales associate was behind the table, and had no customers waiting. She pointed to the "take a number" dispenser and told me to take a number. I was the only customer there, but assumed there was someone ahead of me, wandering around the store. I got number 78.

She then looked up at the tote board, which read 77, clicked to the next number, leaned over into the intercom, and announced, "Number 78."

I kid you not.

I almost burst out laughing, then realized she was serious. I honestly expected Ashton Kutcher to jump out and let me know I had been punk'd.

I guess some people take control wherever they can get it.