This isn't Something New, just something I've had stuck in my brain the past few days, and like the guys in the Coors commercials, I have to vent.
When we were at the Jiggle Jam on Saturday, I passed one of the booths where a woman was making a presentation for her company, Inspiring Moms. I heard part of her speech and she was saying something like "...and what we want to do at Inspiring Moms is give you the TOOLS you need for your CAREER as a mom."
Give me a big fat break.
Why is it that the "feminist movement" is going on 50 years old, and we're still having the same conversations? Why are women constantly having to defend and justify their choices about career and motherhood? Why don't fathers? And why is it that we seem to have to defend and justify our choices to other women, not men?
Twenty years or so ago, there was a Designing Women episode that addressed this very subject. TWENTY YEARS AGO!!! IT'S TIME TO LET IT GO!!!
I have been on both sides of the fence. I stayed home full-time with both of my kids until my divorce. Actually, that's a little misleading, as I always worked a part-time job outside the home, and have had a home-based business for 9 years. When I started working full-time to support my kids, I always thought "Well, since I'm their only income, at least I can give a valid "excuse" for working full-time."
The thing is, I think I like it better working full-time.
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I was able to be home when they were little. I got to do things like playgroup, field trips, etc. and not have to worry about a schedule or itinerary. But they won't remember those things, I will. Was it more for me or for them?
I've been blessed with awesome babysitters to be with them when I couldn't. Yes, I have missed some school programs, field trips and have sometimes had to arrange for carpools to get them to lessons, games, etc. Do they seem any worse for it? Not that I can tell.
Do I wish I wasn't divorced and working a full-time job, two part-time jobs and keeping a home business? Yes, no, yes, yes and no.
Am I exhausted and angry because I have to work so many hours, because The Ex won't? Does that need an answer?
The thing is, I think that all mothers and fathers love their kids and want to do everything they can to keep them safe and happy.
I just don't think that having a career or staying home full-time or both should even be an issue.
Years ago, I heard a comedienne do her routine about vegetarians. Her joke was something like, "Vegetarians should be vegetarians, and just shut up about it. Instead they go around Is there meat in this, because I'm a vegetarian and I don't eat meat. Is there meat in this water, because I'm a vegetarian and I don't eat meat."
Just be a good parent and just shut up about it.
And now back to your regularly scheduled program.