Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Starring Layne Aingell, As Herself

So I'm scrolling through the program guide, and I see that "Pride and Prejudice" is on in a few minutes. I switch the channel to E!. There's about 10 minutes left on the show that is airing, and I'm puttering around the kitchen while it's on. I'm not really paying that much attention, but bits of dialogue reach my brain, and I think, "WTF, IS this?" Turns out, it's a reality show called "Something Wild...Wild Girls...Really Wild..." I don't know, something with "wild" in the title. There are these teen aged girls that seem to have the IQ of two year olds and the bodies of Playmates. Just dumb, pretty people basically doing nothing of merit.

The next day, I tune into the Style Network, because "Clean House" is pretty much on 24/7 and I love me some Neicy Nash. Another reality show I was not aware of, "Jerseylicious," was on. Again, even dumber and not even pretty people.

Seriously, where's MY reality show?

I could have my own camera crew follow me around as I go through my workday. I can show off my negotiating skills in determining what to make everyone for dinner, highlight my prowess at frugality as I cruise the clearance aisles at Target, illustrate how to rise above the pettiness of egos while being chewed out by one of my bosses for one of HER mistakes and provide general amusement for the viewing public at my discovery of a brick in my backyard with the inscription "Do Not Spit On Sidewalk." (True story. I have no idea I was in possession of such a brick, nor how it got there.)

So E! or Style Network, if you're reading, give me a call. I'm available.

No comments: