Something New, #64

Another Something New involving food...

I bought a whole mango today. I usually buy it off the salad bar, frozen in bags or in jars. But they were on sale for 59 cents, so I picked one up after work, when I "just ran into the grocery store to pick up milk..." and cereal and cheese and bananas and bacon and strawberries and a cantaloupe...

I now know why I've never bought a whole mango. Little suckers are about 80% pit. I think I get more for my money the way I usually buy them, even at 59 cents a pop.

Something New, #63

I had planned on my Something New for today to be "attended a wake," but that fell through. Apparently, the deceased is not quite dead yet.

I got a call last week from the woman I cater-waiter for, asking me to work today for a wake this afternoon. This morning, I got a call from her saying that it had been post phoned until Monday or Tuesday, depending on when the honoree actually passed away.

That would be the definition of putting the cart before the horse if I ever heard it.

Actually I thought wouldn't have been nicer for the soon-to-be deceased if they just propped her up at the wake before she actually passed away, that way she could go to her grave after hearing everyone say all those nice things about her?

So technically, I didn't try or learn Something New today, but I think this makes a much better story.

Anyway, here is a photo of my great-great-great grandfather's headstone. Last summer I took The Big One and The Little One on vacation, and one of our stops was the family plot. Other moms are mean, and take their kids to theme parks and on cruises, but we visit the family plot.

At least they'll know where they'll eventually end up. Much more important than a ride on the Tilt-a-Whirl.

Wild Kingdom, Part Deux

I kept dreaming about the bunny all night, so at 5 this morning I went down to check on it. After I told TCGIBS42Y about it, he said in his cute Minnesota accent, "Oh ya, if they get a scare, they'll just die of fright, ya betcha." (OK he didn't say "ya betcha", but he COULD have.) I figured I'd scoop the body up and put it in the trash if it was dead, and tell The Little One its mama came and got her in the night.

The bunny was gone.

I figure either she hopped off, her mama came and got her, or one of the other neighborhood cats did.

2 out of 3 ain't bad.

Something New, #62

Sometimes it's like Wild Kingdom at my house.

The Almost Feral Cat brings us a present about once a week. Three days ago, there was a dead chipmunk in the front hall, that was about half chewed up. One time, I walked into the house to find a perfect baby bunny face looking up at me. About 15 seconds later, The Big One called from the upstairs living room, "Mom, I found the rest of it." One morning, there was an awful smell in the garage. I found out what it was when I stepped on a decapitated bunny. With my bare foot. One night, The Neurotic Dog was barking like crazy, and when I got the flashlight and shined it up on the deck, there was an opossum, STANDING on the deck rail, on one back foot, and reaching up to grab the tree branch above him with a front foot. He had the strangest look on his face that I will never forget. Like he recognized me or something. Not to mention the time I found the world's most pitiful mouse swimming around and around and around in the kitchen sink, in the dishwater I was soaking something in overnight.

So today when both girls were yelling about another bunny in the house, I got the broom and dustpan and figured I had another corpse to deal with.

This one was not quite dead.

It didn't look injured, and there was no blood so I scooped it up in the dustpan and took it outside and placed it under one of the bushes. We left it a little dish of water and I gave the bunny, Sally, as The Little One has christened her, some drops of water from a medicine dropper. The Little One wanted to leave it some carrots, but she settled for celery tops. She's standing with her nose pressed against the back door now, watching it to make sure The Almost Feral Cat doesn't finish her job.

The Circle of Life.

How to be a Good Parent

I feel that one of my priorities as a parent is to embarrass my children as much as possible.

Case in point:

Last night I had The Big One in the car with me and we were driving through our neighborhood to pick The Little One up from dance class.

We passed a woman on the sidewalk, who was wearing the exact same t-shirt as I had on at that exact moment.

This would not be that unusual, but the t-shirt in question is a rainbow tie-dyed "Keep Austin Weird" t-shirt. What are the odds that the two of us, living in Johnson County, Kansas, would have on a rainbow tie-dyed "Keep Austin Weird" t-shirt at the exact same time, in the exact same neighborhood?

I whipped the car around, stopped, and hopped out to show the woman. We both squealed and thought it was a riot.

Meanwhile, The Big One was scooting down under the dashboard.

Just doing my job.

The Little One's Brain Twinkle

Last night, as The Little One and I were walking the dog, she was reminiscing about her friend Kate, from pre-school. Keep in mind, The Little One is all of seven.

"Yep, I miss Kate. She and I were like two ends of a dog."

Come again?

"You know, like two ends of a dog sewn together."

Say what?

"You know, like the front half and the back half of a dog costume."

Oh, right.

I guess that does define friendship.

Something New, #61

I just found the best internet radio! Slacker. com.

It's similar to Pandora, in that you can put in your favorite genre or artists. Since I'm such a creature of habit, I put in 80s Alternative.

First song up was The Knack's, "Good Girls Don't," which I have probably not heard since I bought the album in 1979. I still remembered all the words, which was that short-term, long-term memory thing that has been working against me lately.

I'm still pretty much stuck in 1979 anyway, so I guess that makes sense.